Photo Credit: Simon & His Camera via Compfight
I stumbled into that dreadful lair, and immediately I was hit by a wave of pure stench. A low fog covered the ground, cracked skulls and dead mice were everywhere. The ground was wet and slippery with some kind of slime. I thought I heard ghosts howling in the distance, a cold chill shot down my spine. I continued down the disturbing path.
I could see a chair or something further ahead, but it was too dark. I walked a little closer, and a disgusting sight appeared there was half a mask laying on the floor and a man weeping. I went and hid behind a rock to get a closer look without him seeing me. He turned around, half his face was twisted and burned. The other part was fine, when they said the phantom was a horrible person, I didn’t think he’d be as bad as what they said. But now he seems a whole lot worse then what they said.
I couldn’t take it any more I jumped up and sprinted back the way I came, but the trail was a long one. The phantom was catching on me and I slipped on the gross slime, he jumped on me and I saw everything. The face was twisted and disturbed, but deep inside his eyes you could see years of being tormented and hated. I kicked him off of me, and with all the strength I had claimed back through the mirror and thought. What had made him that way?
I like how you said that the cold sent a chill down your spine because it tells the reader how it would feel to in the lair. I also like the way that you used the word “disturbing” when you were describing the path because it shows imagery of how it would feel to walking in the lair. This was a very good post.